


To Die by Your Side

by shocked_into_shame



Series: Marrissey Tumblr Prompts [12]
Category: The Smiths
Genre: Angst, Death, Established Relationship, Euthanasia, M/M, Terminal Illnesses, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, the saddest thing i've written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 07:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shocked_into_shame/pseuds/shocked_into_shame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Originally Posted on Tumblr]<br/>Prompt: Marrissey- one of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Die by Your Side

It begins on stage. Morrissey is in the midst of singing “I Know It’s Over”, when his vision suddenly fails. In a rush he can’t see anything, and he loses his balance, crashing to the floor. Johnny stops playing and takes off his guitar, rushing over to where his boyfriend is lying. The concert is cut short.

Later that night, Morrissey’s vision returns and he feels better. He attributes the strange episode to a migraine, and the tour continues.

Until, of course, he completely forgets the lyrics on stage the next night. Never has Morrissey  _ever_  forgotten his own lyrics, but in the middle of Cemetery Gates he suddenly stops, a dazed expression glazing over his face. Andy nudges him and whispers the next lyric, but he continues to stand there, just looking at the crowd with a confused expression. Johnny stops, again, and goes to him, asking him if he’s alright. Morrissey asks, in a small voice, “Who are you?”

 _Sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease._  That’s what the doctor tells Johnny and Morrissey. Johnny has never even heard of CJD. Morrissey goes white as a sheet and rushes out of his hospital bed to throw up in the trash. 

The doctor runs through the basic facts. CJD is extremely rare; it is the degeneration of the brain which usually only occurs in older patients. In extremely rare cases it will appear in young adults. CJD leads to memory loss, dementia, lack of coordination, vision-loss, extreme behavioral changes, and sporadic movements. 

It typically kills a patient in one year. No one ever survives it. 

Johnny can feel the ground crumpling beneath him as these facts spew from the doctor’s mouth. Morrissey lays on the bed in a stupor, either shocked by the news or going through another bought of symptoms.

Each day proves to be harder than the last. At first, it isn’t completely awful. Morrissey still smiles widely and brings Johnny in for a small kiss every time he sees him. They sit quietly and talk about everything and nothing.

Eventually, though, Moz succumbs to muscle spasms or vision loss, and Johnny is forced to call in the doctor and leave.

The worst is when Morrissey completely forgets Johnny. One day, the beginning of the end, Johnny enters Morrissey’s hospital room with a bouquet of gladioli and a huge smile. 

Moz has a fit, unable to recognize Johnny. He begins to scream and cry for the doctor, yelling that someone had broken into his room. That makes Johnny want to tear out his still-beating heart, and he leaves quickly.

Things get worse from then on; the bad days begin to outweigh the good. Some days Moz loves Johnny, most days he hates him. Other days he can’t see anything, and others he desperately tries to pull out his IV, unsure of who he is or where he is.

In a rare moment of lucidity, however, Morrissey begs Johnny for euthanasia. He can’t stand it anymore, can’t live like this anymore.

Johnny is there, holding his hand as the doctor switches his IV drip and Moz drifts into a sleep that won’t ever end.

Johnny can’t see past the tears. 


End file.
